August 20, 2004
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I just saw a funny commercial about two burgulars ransacking someone's house. But when they stumbled upon a NY METS bobblehead , they knew the person was a Mets fan and put everything back. Well, hopefully I never get robbed but...I do live in NY so here's my attempt for leniancy ...
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Dear Mr./Ms. Burgular a.k.a. Robber,
Welcome to my apartment. Although it is small, I'm sure you can find many things to your liking. Feel free to take what you wish for I know that is your intent, but I ask you to leave some precious tokens of mine. Here's my list:
Run through the cupboard and fridge and take what is left (water,eggs, and milk)...but please leave me my:
- Iced Tea Mix
- Triscuits
- My Coffee [really Zabar's coffee in the tin! shhh. ]
- My Plums
- and...my Beer. Ok, you can have one..but thats it.
Next, if you can be so kind to not take along with you my:
- Rollerblades. [These were Nike's first ever made]
- My big and luxurious Leather Chair.
- My Lapdesk. [Its like the best gift I ever got!]
* But feel free to sit on it and write a letter on the lapdesk or whatever have you and try on my skates if they fit you.
Alright, I know I'm asking more than your normal "rob-eee" but I have a few more things.
Since my knees are weak, I would like for you to have mercy and leave me my...TIGER BALM. [Probably the best ointment ever invented!]
* Thanks, you might want to use some as you carry some of my stuff out. Your arms might get sore.
I have many book and some video games you can take but if you can leave only 1 of each, I would appreciate it. Please leave:
- MVP Baseball 2004, as it is the game I am currently playing.
- The Art of Happiness book by the Dalai Lama, as it is my own handbook of living.
Last but not least...I'll admit it, these 2 items are my favorite by far:
* Feel free to take my TV, DVD, Computer, Microwave, Printer, utensils, China [ha, yea right] but leave me my:
- Mini iPod: I think I love it more than MY life!
- My Air Conditioner. It gets humid in NY.
Thank you for listening to my concerns. But if that doesn't move you...well, I've been a
die hard Mets fan all my life.
Sincerely grateful,
Felix Shen
Comments (18)
well, what if the robber is a die hard Yankee fan? wouldn't look so good for you then would it? haha
Nice list of request. i think you covered the important stuff!
i am truly LAUGHING OUT LOUD! That was great! What is up with the food, is there any signifigance in wanting all that? I would have thought you would want your bread, peanut butter, and bananas.
The Nike Rollerblades i can understand... first ever made by Nike, if someone told me that i'd steal it right away. you might want to leave that part out.
THIS WAS THE BEST ONE! TIGER BALM! HILARIOUS! Every Asian has to have that in their house, and for you to mention that... ohhh man... memories!
The book you'd keep, I remember my friend searching everywhere for it. We went to Chinatown, Berekley, everywhere to find it. crazy.... and for your game... what if they steal your system where are you guna play it?
Mini iPod... i can totally understand that... music is my life too, i think i would die. the humidity of NY i have not experienced, but i can see how you would want to keep it.
Funny entry... keep them coming!
OHHH AND ABOUT THE GOAT-TEE... you should take a picture of yourself and the progression.... now that would be an interesting entry.
HAHAHAA hillarious.
hahahahhaha... silly goose....
i'd rather if they didn't steal anything at all and just leave my property alone!!!
*pokE*
is NY really that humid???? i didn't know that...
does your hair curl in the humidity then???
that would be interesting to see. *grin*
heehee.. but then again - your hair is kinda short. meh.
CURLING IRON!!!!
=D~
yo yo yo.... whats really good felix... wow you have a cozy looking apt. sike! /k anyways i heard you was going to the tea tomorrow... you know who told me >wendy< she wants me to come thru but i dont know... maybe i will see u later if not ttyl
>kimchi<
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what if they're foreigners huh? and they can't read Eingrijs (English) huh? what then? ... maybe you should draw them a message? Ya know like a drawing the things you don't want them to take?
not so easy then, is it?
seriously, this was a verrry clever post... I even thought of copy-catting... but ya know, I'm pretty certain that when robbers get in my house-- it looks so ransacked (I'm a horrible housekeeper) -- that they figure whoever was did that already took everything... see? neat trick, huh? the best security just may be to keep your house messy! That's my tory and I'm sticking to it!!!
too many typos to correct up there-- hope ya understood!
*sigh* Such a simple man.
I'll bet they wet their pants when they read you were a Met's fan! 
lolz. yo felix, u are crazy. But interesting entry. miss ya even though u are a loser. See ya tomorrow. Laterz~
after reading your letter, might as well not take anything. then again, i'd just rip up the letter and take all your shit.
LOL. well... thinking from a burglar's point of view of course.
rofl... omg, felix, i think you killed me.
yeah... i'd take your boxers as an intimate souvenir too.
guhross.
*gagging
lols. you always have such cute pictures up. and go yankees! = p
Hay this is a response to your comment. Yea I think you are right.. the guy just isn't worth me going after and putting my pride on the line... By the way, "Mariposa Traiciona" is where I got my name from (lol).. and I think it's from a group called Mana.. heard of them??
NOOOOOOOOOO.... YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TEACH ME EVERYTHING!!! WELL.... MAYBE A LIL GRAMMER! LOL LOL LOL
oooo wow... what color mini i pod do you have just so that you wont think i am biting off of u... ?!?
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